The Dream

 I sit cross legged on my bed, feeding my sweet three month old. The fan is running twenty four-seven and the heat is unbearable outside. Cue the Mamma Mia music: I have a dream. This is me being open and vulnerable, writing as if no one will ever read this but myself. I want this dream so bad that my heart hurts. So..what's the dream? The dream is to work incredibly hard on something that I love and to hopefully watch it grow. I dream of a flower farm.

Right now, the dream seems almost unattainable. The cost of owning a home in Utah is continually getting higher and higher and land is even more difficult to obtain. We aren't exactly in a place to even think of buying a home. We just had our first born child and we live very humbly. Hospital bills have stacked up, the car needs fixing, diapers are expensive and we are financially scraping by.

Millie girl

So, what can we do now with where we are at? We are extremely fortunate to live with my parents who give us some space to plant. We have some seeds, a couple of grow lights and a little bit of space. Things often look very complicated and stressful and the dream seems very far away but I know a few things for sure: Josh and I love each other very much. We love growing veggies and flowers. We are passionate about sustainability. We will work at this dream until it comes true. 

The fam

This season has shown many ups and downs. This is only our second year trying our hand at gardening and our first year growing cut flowers. I have been trying to soak up as much information as possible through MANY YouTube videos, books and even courses. I'm loving it. So far, this journey has brought so much joy and excitement. The fruits of our labor, however, have been disappointing. This season has been so dry! This state, that is already considered a desert, has been in a bad drought this year. It's difficult to grow anything when one of three factors of growth are missing. 

Negativity aside, somethings have grown. A fraction of our zinnias continue to grow, despite being attacked by insects. The kale and brussel sprouts are flourishing. Bachelor buttons grew from being directly sown! The tomatoes are showing promise with lots of green fruit hanging from branches below. 

Sungolds and Wapsipinicon Peach

So, here's to learning! Here's to taking whatever situation we are in and making the best of it. It's easy to fall into the temptation of stress and depression but it shows strength to hold onto hopes and dreams. In the wise words of Abba: "And my destination, makes it worth the while. Pushing through the darkness, still another mile." I'm not sure what our future holds, but I know it will be good.